November is a month that invites us to reflect. It is a month of remembrance, gratitude, celebration, and recognition of the humanity that connects us all.
Throughout November, we acknowledge Indigenous Veterans Day, Remembrance Day, Diwali, and Transgender Day of Remembrance. At first glance, these observances may seem very different, each rooted in its own history, culture, and experiences. Yet, when I think about what they represent, I see a common thread: our shared humanity, our desire to belong, and the importance of choosing compassion, even when the world around us encourages division.
At Cher-Mère, we believe that every person deserves to feel welcomed, respected, and valued for who they are. This month provides an opportunity to reflect on what that truly means, not just within our spa, but in our homes, our communities, and the world.
Remembering the Person Behind the Uniform
When we think about Remembrance Day, we often think about soldiers, uniforms, battlefields, and sacrifice. We see images of military personnel standing together, we hear the playing of The Last Post, and we wear our poppies.
But I often wonder whether we spend enough time thinking about the people behind those uniforms. The son who never returned home. The daughter who left her family to serve. The mother or father who missed watching their children grow. The grandfather whose stories were shaped by experiences we can barely imagine. The aunt, uncle, neighbour, friend, and loved one.
Every person who served had a life beyond the battlefield. They had relationships, dreams, fears, hopes, and people who loved them. For every life lost, there were families left behind whose lives were forever changed. When we remember those who served, I believe we must remember their humanity first.
Wars are often driven by struggles for power, territory, resources, ideology, and control. Decisions made by a relatively small number of people can have devastating consequences for millions. Yet, it is so often ordinary people who are called upon to carry out those decisions and bear the greatest costs.
People who, under different circumstances, might have been neighbours, colleagues, or even friends and that is something worth reflecting on.
Opposite Sides of the Same Coin
I recently listened to a podcast featuring psychologist Adam Grant, who was speaking about relationships, allyship, and the bonds formed through shared experiences. One of the ideas that stayed with me was the companionship that can develop between people experiencing extraordinary circumstances, even soldiers who find themselves on opposing sides of a conflict. He noted that often, those soldiers on opposite sides, when they met often formed great lifelong relationships.
It made me think about how much we can have in common with someone we have been taught to see as our opposite. Soldiers may wear different uniforms, speak different languages, and fight under different flags. Yet many share similar fears, hopes, and longings. They miss their families. They worry about their friends. They dream of returning home. They understand loss, exhaustion, uncertainty, and the need to rely on one another.
In many ways, they are opposite sides of the same coin.
Of course, recognizing shared humanity does not mean ignoring injustice or pretending that every conflict is morally equivalent. It means remembering that even in the most difficult circumstances, people are still people.
We live in a world where division can seem easier than understanding. Fear is a powerful tool, and throughout history, it has been used to separate communities, create suspicion, and convince us that people who are different from us are somehow a threat.
But what if we chose to resist that?
What if, instead of looking for what separates us, we made a conscious effort to recognize what connects us? We do not have to agree on everything to treat one another with dignity. We do not have to share the same beliefs, background, or experiences to extend kindness.
Our differences do not have to be the things that divide us. They can be the very things that help us learn from one another.
In Flanders Fields: Remembering Those Who Loved and Were Loved
One of the most powerful symbols of Remembrance Day is the poppy, immortalized in the poem In Flanders Fields, written by Canadian physician and soldier Lieutenant-Colonel John McCrae in 1915.
McCrae wrote the poem following the death of his friend, Lieutenant Alexis Helmer, during the First World War. Helmer was a graduate of the Royal Military College right here in Kingston, where his classmates later honoured him with a memorial window.
What has always struck me about this poem is its reminder that those who died were once living, loving people.
"Loved, and were loved, and now we lie"
Those few words capture something incredibly powerful.
Before the battlefield, there was life. There were sunrises and sunsets, conversations, friendships, celebrations, and families. The poppies growing among the graves remind us not only of death and sacrifice, but of the lives that existed before.
Later in the poem, McCrae speaks of passing the torch to those who remain. I think about that torch as more than a call to remember. I see it as a responsibility.
A responsibility to build communities where people can live with dignity. To stand against hatred and discrimination. To recognize the cost of conflict and work toward a future where fewer families must experience that loss.
Perhaps one of the greatest ways we can honour those who served is by making a conscious effort to build the kind of world they hoped their loved ones would inherit.
November 8: Indigenous Veterans Day
On November 8, we honour the First Nations, Inuit, and Métis people who have served in Canada's military.
Indigenous Veterans have made significant contributions, often while facing discrimination and systemic barriers within the very country they were defending.
For many, their service was not met with the same recognition, opportunities, or benefits afforded to other veterans. This is an important part of our history to acknowledge.
Similarly, Black Canadians served in our military during periods when they were denied equal opportunities and faced discrimination both within the armed forces and in society. Imagine being asked to fight for the freedoms of a country that did not always extend those same freedoms to you.
Yet people served.
They stood shoulder to shoulder, relied on one another, and demonstrated courage, commitment, and sacrifice.
There is something profoundly important in recognizing both their contributions and the injustices they experienced.
Remembrance must include the stories that were not always told, the voices that were not always heard, and the people whose service was not always fully recognized.
If we are truly committed to honouring their sacrifices, we must also be committed to building a society where equality and belonging are not conditional.
November 8: Diwali, Choosing Light Over Darkness
This November, many members of our community will also celebrate Diwali, the Festival of Lights.
Diwali is celebrated through a variety of traditions and customs, particularly within Hindu, Sikh, and Jain communities, with different spiritual and cultural meanings.
One of its most widely recognized themes is the triumph of light over darkness, knowledge over ignorance, and good over evil.
Homes are illuminated with diyas, small oil lamps, symbolizing hope, renewal, and the power of light.
I find that symbolism particularly meaningful in our world today.
There is no shortage of darkness around us. We see conflict, discrimination, suffering, and division. Social media can amplify negativity, and it can sometimes feel as though we are constantly being encouraged to take sides.
But darkness does not have to be our default. Each of us has an opportunity to bring light into the spaces we occupy. We can choose understanding over judgment, compassion over indifference, and curiosity over fear.
Sometimes that light comes through grand gestures. More often, it comes through the small things: checking in on a neighbour, welcoming someone who feels excluded, listening without immediately responding, or simply being kind.
Just as one small flame can illuminate a dark room, one act of kindness can make a difference in someone's day.
To everyone celebrating Diwali, we wish you and your families a beautiful celebration filled with light, love, peace, and happiness.
November 20: Transgender Day of Remembrance
On November 20, we observe Transgender Day of Remembrance, a day dedicated to honouring transgender and gender-diverse people whose lives have been lost to anti-transgender violence. It is a solemn reminder that discrimination, hatred, and exclusion can have devastating consequences.
When I think about this day, I return to the same question that runs through all these November reflections: Why is it sometimes so difficult for us to simply see the person?
A person who has hopes and dreams. A person who wants to feel safe walking through their community. A person who wants to be accepted by their family, respected at work, and treated with dignity.
Someone's identity does not take away from our own. We do not need to understand every aspect of another person's experience to recognize their right to live safely and authentically.
It does not take much to be kind. Kindness does not mean that we will always understand one another perfectly. It means that we are willing to listen, to learn, and to extend the same dignity that we would want for ourselves and those we love.
At Cher-Mère, we want every person who walks through our doors to feel that they belong. Regardless of gender identity, race, background, age, beliefs, or who you love, we celebrate you as you are. We are proud to offer a welcoming, inclusive space where you can feel comfortable being yourself. Feeling safe, seen, and respected should never be a privilege reserved for a few.
Carrying the Torch Forward
As I reflect on these November observances, I keep returning to the idea of carrying the torch forward.
The torch that John McCrae wrote about more than a century ago. The light celebrated during Diwali. The courage of Indigenous and Black veterans who served despite inequality. The responsibility to remember transgender lives lost to hatred and violence. Each reminds us, in a different way, that the choices we make matter.
We cannot personally end every war or resolve every conflict. We cannot change the past or eliminate every injustice overnight. But we can influence the spaces around us.
We can decide how we speak about people who are different from us. We can challenge discrimination when we see it. We can listen to perspectives that make us uncomfortable. We can teach our children that strength is not measured by how loudly we speak or how much power we hold, but by how we treat others.
We can disagree without dehumanizing. We can recognize that every person has a story, often one we know very little about. And we can remember that behind every statistic, every headline, every conflict, and every label is a human being.
At Cher-Mère, our belief in inclusion is not simply about the services we offer. It is about the environment we strive to create and the values we carry into our community. This November, a portion of every product purchase and spa booking supports Youth Diversion and the work they do with Kingston youth.
We believe that everyone deserves a little kindness, a little care, and a place where they can simply be. This November, we honour all those who have served and sacrificed. We remember the families who continue to carry their loss. We acknowledge those whose contributions have too often been overlooked. We celebrate those bringing light into our communities, and we stand with those whose lives remind us that acceptance and safety still require our attention.
May we never forget the people behind the uniforms, the names, or the labels.
May we choose to see humanity before differences, to extend kindness before judgment, and to bring light into places where darkness too often takes hold.
The world will always have its struggles, but we do not have to contribute to the division.
We can choose love. We can choose compassion. We can choose humanity.
And perhaps, if we make those choices every day, we can help create a world where the next generation inherits more understanding, more peace, and more reasons to believe in the goodness of people.
Lest we forget. Let us remember. Let us be kind.